at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
