You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
