I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
