dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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