Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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