Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
