WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
