wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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