i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I'm drive I can fine osifer
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
