how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
