There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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