Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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