Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
