All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
