TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
