D3 body, D1 cock
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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