It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
