it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
