I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
