Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
