His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
