i just had sex bonerless
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
