I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
