East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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