I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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