Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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