i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
