You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
