So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
