I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
no you cant smoke seaweed
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
