It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
