i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
