I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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