I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
No stitches, just platelets and will power
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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