that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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