she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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