Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
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