Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
