the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
