omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
