My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
home. puking in laundry basket.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
