I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I can't turn off my feet"
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
