Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
