Buhtt sex?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Randomize
