Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
