So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
