You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
