We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
