I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
