Heybabeimwearingurpanties
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
