the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
