Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
