It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
you had me at cake vodka
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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