Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
