Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
