I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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