All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
