Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
